A Hornbill, a Country Club, and the Decline of Civilization
Seriously? A hornbill? Escaped from the zoo? And now it’s hanging out at a country club? I swear, every day brings us closer to the inevitable collapse of societal order, and this…this bird is just the latest, feathered sign.
You know, back in the day, escaped animals were bears raiding campsites or wolves venturing too close to farms. Things with some inherent drama! A hornbill? Its a tropical bird with a ridiculously large beak that probably spends its time looking for fruit and judging our fashion choices. And it’s causing headlines.
I picture the country club members, clutching their cucumber sandwiches, peering through binoculars at this… spectacle. “Look, Mildred! A hornbill! How exotic!” Exotic? It escaped from a place where people pay exorbitant amounts of money to look at animals in cages. Now it’s free and disrupting their perfectly manicured lawns!
Honestly, the sheer absurdity of this whole situation is breathtaking. We have wars, climate change, political unrest…and were all collectively losing our minds over a bird that probably just wanted a better view of the golf course. Its peak ridiculousness, folks. Just…peak ridiculousness. I’m going to go lie down now and contemplate the futility of it all.
