Really? Paper Planes?! A Triumph of Utter Pointlessness
Seriously? This is what we’re celebrating now? A man in Texas folded 250 functional paper planes in an hour? Functional! As if functionality is inherently valuable when applied to precisely nothing. Im just… baffled. The sheer dedication required to achieve this level of, frankly, mediocrity is astounding. Imagine the things that could have been accomplished with those sixty precious minutes! Solving world hunger? Inventing a genuinely useful app? Finally understanding why socks disappear in the dryer? Nope. Paper planes.
I picture him now, hunched over a table piled high with meticulously folded paper projectiles, radiating an aura of smug accomplishment. He probably thinks he’s contributed something significant to humanity. Something innovative. I bet his friends are all patting him on the back, whispering about his amazing talent.
And the word “functional!” Its so… underwhelming. Yes, they fly. Congratulations! So does a crumpled napkin if you throw it hard enough. We’re supposed to be impressed by this? I feel my brain cells actively committing seppuku in protest. Im sure there’s some profound metaphor about perseverance or something equally pretentious waiting to be unearthed, but honestly, I just want someone to explain why this warrants an article. Please. Just tell me. Because I am genuinely at a loss.
