Natures Interior Decorator: Seriously?
Honestly, Florida. You’ve got hurricanes, alligators wrestling tourists, and now this? A deer. A deer! Decided my living room needed a little…rustic charm. Apparently, smashing through a perfectly good window was the most logical way to achieve it. I mean, did this creature even consider the drywall? The furniture placement? The sheer audacity of it all!
It’s not like Florida lacks space. Acres and acres of swampy wilderness just begging for deer to roam freely in a dignified, non-destructive manner. But no, this one apparently decided my beige sofa was the ideal landing pad after an ill-advised leap. Im sure it felt very “natural” as shattered glass rained down on my prized collection of porcelain frogs.
And you know what’s truly wonderful? The inevitable news coverage will be all about how nature is amazing and wildlife finds a way. Yes, nature finds a way to inconvenience me and incur significant repair costs. Wildlife finds a way to prove I need hazard insurance for my house. Its breathtakingly predictable, isn’t it?
I fully expect squirrels to start demanding rent next. Maybe a raccoon will decide my bathroom is its personal spa. Because clearly, the rules of property ownership and basic animal etiquette no longer apply in this state. Just… fabulous.
