The Universe Rewards Mediocrity, Naturally
Seriously? A South Carolina man? Buying a drink? And that’s what gets rewarded by the cosmos? Lets just pause for a moment and appreciate the sheer absurdity of this situation. We toil away, diligently paying taxes, striving (and mostly failing) to be vaguely productive members of society, and what do we get? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
But this guy. This man, who presumably was engaged in the earth-shattering activity of procuring a beverage – probably something sugary and regrettable – is suddenly two hundred thousand dollars richer. Its not like he invented cold fusion or cured cancer. He bought a drink! A commonplace, utterly unremarkable act!
And now he’s swimming in cash, presumably buying more drinks with his winnings. I bet you he’ll buy expensive drinks now. Imported sparkling water, perhaps? Or artisanal lemonade squeezed by vestal virgins? The gall!
Its just…perfectly emblematic of everything that’s wrong with the world. Effort doesnt matter. Ambition is meaningless. Just wander aimlessly through life, occasionally purchasing a sugary concoction, and hope for a lottery ticket to fall into your lap like divine manna.
Wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. I need another drink.
