Seriously? Another Lottery Winner? My Taxes, Apparently.
Right. Because the universe clearly needs more evidence that the system is rigged. A Maryland man, you see, has won a second lottery prize in less than two years. Two! Years! Let that sink in. While Im over here clipping coupons and agonizing over whether to buy organic broccoli or the slightly-less-perfect version, someone is apparently just… collecting them like baseball cards.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled for him. Truly. It’s fantastic! He can now afford a solid gold yacht shaped like a giant lottery ticket while the rest of us struggle to keep our cars running and pay for healthcare. Its inspiring, really. Inspiring me to question every life choice I’ve ever made.
And you know who paid for this windfall? You guessed it: us. Taxpayers! The very people who are now funding his extended shopping spree. It’s just so… equitable. So perfectly balanced in the grand scheme of things. Because nothing says “equal opportunity” like a system designed to make some individuals ludicrously wealthy while others barely scrape by.
Im sure its all completely random and fair. Im absolutely certain that this isn’t a sign that something fundamentally broken lies beneath the surface of our economic reality. Just another heartwarming story about someone getting lucky. Really, just lucky.
