A Roo in Texas? Really?!
Seriously? A kangaroo? In Texas? I’m just… processing this. Apparently, some marsupial decided a scorching highway somewhere in the Lone Star State was a better vacation destination than, I dont know, AUSTRALIA? The continent specifically designed for kangaroos? It’s almost impressive, if it weren’t so utterly ridiculous.
I mean, what is happening with the universe?! First, we have rogue squirrels hoarding entire pumpkin patches, and now this? Are we supposed to be surprised when our weather patterns are behaving like a toddler throwing a tantrum? Clearly, natures lost its mind.
And naturally, everyone’s acting shocked. A kangaroo! How unexpected! they exclaim, as if a polar bear showing up in Phoenix would have been more commonplace. Were all so stunned by the improbable that we fail to ask the real question: Where did it come from? Who let a kangaroo loose? Is this some elaborate prank orchestrated by someone with way too much time and money?
Honestly, I’m expecting a flock of penguins next week. A herd of llamas. Maybe a yeti just chilling in a Dennys booth. At this point, nothing would surprise me. Just… please, for the love of all that is sensible, keep the wildlife where it belongs. Preferably far away from Texas roads.
