The Peak of Human Achievement: A Wheelie Bin Goes Zoom
Seriously? A wheelie bin? Racing? At sixty-six miles per hour? Is this what we’ve come to? While scientists are supposedly unlocking the secrets of the universe and artists strive for transcendent beauty, some bright spark has dedicated their considerable talents to…modifying a trash receptacle. For speed. Because apparently, the primary function of a wheelie bin – containing refuse – is just so boring.
I mean, I’m all for innovation, truly. But shouldnt we be focusing on things like, say, solving world hunger? Or perhaps inventing a device that automatically sorts socks by color and pattern? No. We build a rocket-powered bin. A fast rocket-powered bin! Because clearly, the existing problems in our lives are not pressing enough.
And the justifications! It pushes boundaries! “A testament to human ingenuity!” Please. It’s a wheeled metal box careening across a field at speeds previously reserved for sports cars and mildly panicked squirrels. Im sure it’s thrilling for the individuals involved, but I suspect most of us would prefer slightly less existential dread about where humanity is headed.
Its just… spectacular in its utter pointlessness. A glorious monument to wasted time and resources. Bravo. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go contemplate the absurdity of it all while emptying my own, decidedly slower, bin.
