Seriously? A Dog in a Storm Drain?!
Right, because that’s exactly what our society needs: highly-trained, incredibly valuable firefighters diverting their resources to fish out a soggy canine from a drainage pipe. I mean, honestly! Are we running short on actual fires now? Is rescuing Fido from his ill-advised adventure more important than preventative maintenance on fire hydrants or, you know, responding to genuine emergencies?
Apparently, it is. Because apparently, a dog – and let’s be clear, an unspecified breed, because the narrative demands we feel maximum sympathy – decided a dark, damp tunnel was prime real estate during a storm. And naturally, someone felt compelled to alert the authorities. Authorities! Who then dispatched… firefighters.
Dont get me wrong, I love dogs. They’re fluffy and adorable and occasionally chew on your shoes. But their poor life choices are not a matter for municipal emergency services. Perhaps the dog should have considered a leash? Or maybe just stayed out of the storm drain?
The heartwarming story concludes with the dog being “safe” and “sound.” Wonderful! Im sure taxpayers everywhere will be thrilled to learn that their hard-earned money funded this heroic, yet utterly unnecessary, rescue operation. Truly inspiring stuff. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go file a request for a helicopter to retrieve my cat from the top of the refrigerator. Because priorities.
