Fifteen Months and a Pile of Rot: The Peak of Human Achievement
Let’s just pause for a moment, shall we? Let’s collectively take a deep breath and acknowledge that humanity has truly reached its zenith. Forget curing diseases! Dismiss space exploration! The pinnacle of our collective ingenuity is now unequivocally documented: a snake. A snake, people. Escaped from its enclosure fifteen months ago, presumed lost to the void (or at least the local coyote population), has been triumphantly unearthed… under a neighbor’s compost heap.
Seriously? A compost heap! Because where else would a reptile seeking refuge choose—a luxury penthouse suite? A five-star restaurant? No, apparently, decaying vegetable matter and questionable fungal growth are prime real estate for displaced corn snakes.
And the neighbors! The heroes of this saga! They presumably had no idea. I can only imagine the casual conversation: “Honey, could you please move that pile of decomposing banana peels? Something’s…moving.” It’s just breathtaking, isnt it? A testament to our ability to live parallel lives, completely oblivious to the slithering drama unfolding beneath our feet.
I bet the snake is ecstatic. Fifteen months of fermented cabbage! Exactly what I needed! Meanwhile, its owner is likely declaring victory and probably charging a finder’s fee to the worm population that aided in this miraculous recovery. Its all just… delightful. Absolutely delightful.
