A Mountain Lion in San Francisco? Seriously?!
Right, because what San Francisco really needed was a wild apex predator casually strolling through residential neighborhoods. I mean, traffic is bad enough, property values are insane, and the housing crisis makes living here feel like an endurance test – but now we have to worry about becoming lunch? Fantastic. Absolutely brilliant.
Apparently, this majestic creature (because thats how these things are framed now, isn’t it?) decided a leisurely walk through someones backyard was just perfect. And naturally, everyone lost their minds. Pictures! Videos! The frantic scrambling of residents to protect their pampered pooches and designer succulents. As if the mountain lion is deliberately trying to cause chaos. It probably just got confused. Probably wandered down from some pristine wilderness area, completely oblivious to the fact that it’s now sharing space with artisanal coffee shops and dog-walking empires.
And lets not forget the inevitable flurry of hand-wringing articles about urban wildlife encroachment, complete with concerned experts lamenting the loss of habitat. As if we havent systematically paved over everything remotely resembling natural habitat for decades! Now a mountain lion shows up and suddenly we need to feel guilty?
Honestly, I’m expecting a commemorative t-shirt any minute now: I Survived the San Francisco Mountain Lion Scare. Because thats precisely how ridiculous this all is.
