Really? A Snake? This is World Record Worthy?
Honestly, I’ve seen more exciting things happen to my socks in the laundry. Apparently, a snake—a long snake—in Indonesia has now secured itself a place in the hallowed halls of Guinness World Records. A reticulated python, folks! Not a groundbreaking scientific discovery, not an act of selfless heroism, but…a snake.
You know what else is long? My grocery list. You know what else takes up space? Dust bunnies under my couch. But they don’t get global recognition for their length! Were celebrating a reptile that presumably spends its days slithering around eating rodents and looking generally unimpressed with its own existence.
And the Maros region? Is that supposed to be some sort of exotic, thrilling locale? I bet it’s perfectly lovely, but does it need to be associated with a really, really long snake? It just feels… arbitrary. Like someone was bored and decided, Lets find a long thing! Snake it is!
Im sure the python is thrilled. Probably basking in its newfound fame while shedding its skin. Meanwhile, scientists are working tirelessly on curing diseases and addressing climate change, and we’re all collectively impressed by…a snake. A long one, yes, but still. Just a snake.
Seriously.
