The Pinnacle of Human Achievement: A Pindaloo and a Preteen
Seriously? This is what we’re celebrating now? Eleven years old? Juggling what exactly? A pindaloo. Let me repeat that for those in the back: a PINDALOO. It’s basically a spinning, vaguely conical piece of plastic that anyone with minimal coordination can manage after five minutes of YouTube tutorials. And this child, bless his heart (or maybe not), has apparently achieved world-record status with it.
I mean, Im sure it takes some skill. But is it worthy of a record? Should we erect statues in his honor? Commission operas about the profound artistry of spinning a glorified toy? I suspect the previous record was held by someone who managed to keep their pindaloo spinning for, say, thirty seconds. This child apparently shattered that barrier, achieving… what exactly? Fifteen glorious seconds more of dizzying plastic rotation?
It’s just…peak everything, isnt it? We’ve exhausted all meaningful athletic and artistic pursuits. We’re down to celebrating preteen mastery of novelty items. I fully expect we’ll soon be awarding medals for competitive thumb-twiddling and record attempts at stacking marshmallows.
Dont get me wrong; the kid probably deserves a pat on the head. But let’s not pretend this is anything more than an utterly ridiculous, mildly amusing footnote in the annals of pointless human endeavors. Pass the popcorn.
