The Peak of Human Achievement: A Capybara and Water
Seriously? A capybara won a “long bath showdown”? Are we truly at this point in civilization? I suppose it shouldnt surprise me, given that we’re also celebrating squirrels finding acorns. But a capybara, named Prune no less – as if the name itself isnt an affront to good taste – being lauded for enjoying water for an extended period? This is what constitutes news now?
I understand were desperate for content. The internet demands constant stimulation, and apparently that stimulation comes in the form of rodents luxuriating in lukewarm H2O. It’s just… so profoundly unremarkable. Prune presumably enjoys bathing. Capybaras are known to enjoy water. Groundbreaking.
I can only imagine the hours spent meticulously documenting this monumental event. The lighting, the angles, the slow-motion footage of a semi-aquatic rodent doing precisely what it’s biologically inclined to do! I bet there were teams of specialists ensuring optimal water temperature and strategic placement of floating vegetables for added aesthetic appeal.
And the award? What is the award for prolonged submersion? A lifetime supply of alfalfa? A tiny rubber ducky trophy? Its all utterly ridiculous, a perfect encapsulation of our collective descent into absurdity. Frankly, I have more pressing concerns than watching Prune soak. Like, say, questioning every life choice that led me to read about this in the first place.
