The Boy Who Broke Physics (Probably)
Right, so we’re supposed to be impressed? A twelve-year-old achieved nuclear fusion? Let me just stifle my disbelief and applaud politely while the world collectively loses its mind. Because apparently, childhood hobbies now involve manipulating subatomic particles and defying established scientific principles. My niece collects Beanie Babies; this kid apparently unlocks the secrets of the universe in his garage.
Seriously, where did we go wrong as a society? Are we so desperate for feel-good stories that well latch onto anything suggesting the impending obsolescence of actual, you know, trained scientists? I’m picturing Nobel laureates huddled in corners weeping quietly, their decades of research rendered meaningless by a preteen with access to…well, who knows what. Probably Kickstarter funding and parental encouragement bordering on enabling.
Dont get me wrong, ingenuity is wonderful. But let’s not rewrite the history books just yet. Peer review? Replication? These are important concepts, people! I suspect a thorough investigation will reveal some serious methodological shortcuts, possibly involving a very powerful microwave and an overzealous interpretation of data.
Frankly, its exhausting trying to keep up with these miracle breakthroughs. I’m going back to my crossword puzzle. At least that requires actual brainpower, not just the ability to convince adults you built something amazing with a bunch of spare parts.
