Cows with Rakes? Seriously?!
Right, so now cows are apparently inventing tools. Because clearly, we humans havent achieved enough in our millennia of supposed intelligence. We’ve split the atom, mapped the genome, invented sliced bread (a monumental achievement!), and now a cow is pushing a rake to get at some hay? I am genuinely struggling to maintain composure here.
Apparently, Austrian researchers – bless their cotton socks and boundless enthusiasm for documenting the utterly mundane – have documented this earth-shattering discovery. A single cow, named Heidi (because of course its named Heidi), reportedly used a rake to pull hay closer. Groundbreaking stuff! I bet Darwin is rolling in his grave, whispering something about “natural selection” and questioning everything he ever believed.
Let’s be honest; this isnt tool use. This is an animal exhibiting basic problem-solving skills. A slightly more advanced version of a squirrel burying a nut. We’re going to start giving cows PhDs soon, I suppose. Dr. Heidi, pushing her rake across the stage, accepting accolades for bovine ingenuity.
Its just… exhausting. The constant need to find novelty where there is simply incremental animal behavior. Can we please stop pretending that every twitch of an animal’s ear constitutes a revolution in cognitive ability? I need a lie down. And possibly a very strong cup of tea.
