Really? A Swan and a Frozen Pond? Seriously?!
Let’s just pause for a moment, shall we? Before we all spontaneously combust from sheer, overwhelming importance of…a swan. Apparently, a mute swan – because obviously, a talking swan would have been far too manageable – managed to get its rear end cemented onto a frozen pond in New York. And this demanded the attention of emergency responders. Emergency responders! The people who deal with actual emergencies!
I mean, I’m sure there were no heart attacks unattended, no car crashes unaddressed, just because some avian idiot decided to perform an impromptu ice sculpture demonstration. Because, naturally, a swan is incapable of spatial awareness or basic physics. It just happens to be stuck. And we need trained professionals, with flashing lights and probably heavy machinery, to liberate its fluffy bottom from the icy grip.
Honestly, the headline alone felt like a personal affront. Emergency Responders Rescue Swan! Like this is a heroic feat worthy of national recognition! I bet they’re all getting medals now. And meanwhile, potholes remain unpatched, schools are underfunded, and affordable housing… well, lets not even go there.
But yes, the swan is fine. Its tail feathers are probably ruffled. The taxpayers? Not so much. Just another shining example of our priorities being spectacularly skewed. A mute swan. Really?
