Seals, Boulders, and the Inevitable Fuss
Honestly? A seal stuck between rocks. Really? Is this what our time is for? A dedicated team of marine animal rescuers, whisked away from… I don’t know, important things, to extract a pinniped who apparently decided a precarious crevice was prime real estate? One wonders if the seal even asked itself, Is this really the best decision? Probably not. These creatures are notoriously lacking in foresight.
The press release – naturally accompanied by excessively cute photos – details the painstaking operation. “Carefully,” they say. “Delicately.” As if a slightly embarrassed seal is the height of dramatic rescue work. Im sure the boulders were just thrilled to be involved in this display of human intervention.
It’s not that I don’t appreciate wildlife, understand? It’s more… tiring. Every time nature presents an inconvenience, we feel compelled to swoop in and “fix” it. As if a seal wedged between rocks is some kind of existential crisis requiring expert intervention. Perhaps the seal needed to learn a valuable lesson about geological hazards!
And lets be honest, I bet there were onlookers snapping pictures, documenting this monumental occasion for their social media feeds. Because nothing says compassion like filming an animal in distress and then posting it online. Just once, I’d love to see a seal stay put, learn from its mistakes, and not require the full force of human resources to free it.
