Seriously? A Deer Burglar?!
Right, because 2024 wasnt already bizarre enough. Apparently, we’re now at a point where wildlife is filing for homeowners insurance and committing property crimes. I just read about a deer – a deer – triggering a burglary alarm at a bank in Suffolk County. A DEER! You know, those creatures that graze peacefully and occasionally get hit by cars? One of them decided to stage a dramatic entrance through a window.
Honestly, is this what we’ve come to? Police responding to alarms only to discover the perpetrator isnt some hardened criminal but a confused ungulate with questionable architectural judgment? I can just picture the scene: officers cautiously approaching, expecting armed robbers, and instead finding Bambi looking slightly sheepish amidst shattered glass.
I suppose it’s good for a chuckle on social media. Look at the adorable deer burglar! People are sharing pictures and videos as if this is some sort of heartwarming moment. But Im sitting here wondering about the cost of repairing that window, the disruption to bank employees, and the sheer absurdity of it all.
Maybe we should start issuing tiny warrants for trespassing wildlife? Or perhaps a mandatory deer etiquette class: Please refrain from breaking and entering. There are perfectly good salad bars available. This is just… something else entirely.
