The End of Us All, Apparently: A 12-Year-Old and Nuclear Fusion
Seriously? Another prodigy? Just when I thought wed exhausted the supply of preteen geniuses solving world hunger with meticulously crafted macaroni art, along comes a twelve-year-old from Dallas who’s apparently cracked nuclear fusion. Four years! Four years this kid spent tinkering while the rest of us were struggling to remember which end of a pencil to hold. I bet hes already mastered quantum physics and can probably explain string theory better than my college professors could.
It’s not even slightly surprising, is it? Because naturally, childhood is now exclusively reserved for achieving scientific breakthroughs that should be handled by teams of highly-paid researchers with decades of experience. Where does that leave the rest of us? Apparently, were all just…failures. Were supposed to feel inadequate and question our life choices because a child managed to do something considered the pinnacle of human achievement.
And don’t get me started on the future implications! Now every parent will be forcing their children into intense STEM programs from infancy, fueled by the desperate hope that their little darling will unlock the secrets of the universe and secure them a spot in history. Its exhausting just thinking about it. Pass the chocolate cake; I need to drown my existential dread in sugar.
