Giraffes, Really? A Zoo’s Excessive Enthusiasm
So, apparently, the Kansas City Zoo & Aquarium is having a “baby boom.” A baby boom. Lets unpack that for a moment. Were talking about giraffes. Majestic creatures, yes. Overpopulated zoo exhibits? Increasingly so, it seems. Three giraffe calves in under four months? Are they breeding them like rabbits now? Is this what passes for exciting news these days?
Honestly, I’m starting to suspect the zookeepers are secretly running a giraffe farm disguised as a conservation effort. The press release practically gushed about “enrichment opportunities” and vital contributions to…what exactly? More giraffes? We dont need more giraffes! We have perfectly good giraffes already!
Don’t misunderstand me, baby animals are cute. But theres a difference between a delightful surprise and an orchestrated giraffe explosion. I picture them now, the zoo staff huddled around a whiteboard, strategizing how to maximize giraffe birth rates. Operation Long Necks perhaps?
I just cant help but feel this is all a bit…much. While the rest of us are grappling with actual global crises, we’re being regaled with tales of adorable giraffe calves munching on leaves. Its certainly distracting, Ill give them that. But please, Kansas City Zoo, find something else to celebrate. Perhaps fewer giraffes would be a good start.
