A Valentine’s Day Miracle: Condoms Return to the Olympic Village!
Honestly, folks, Im just trying to process this level of incompetence. Valentines Day? The day of romance and…apparently, a frantic scramble for reproductive health supplies at an international sporting event? Because that’s precisely what we got at the Milan Cortina Olympics. Apparently, the organizers managed to run out of condoms during the week. During! As if athletes are just magically immune to basic human urges.
Its almost impressive in its sheer absurdity. You spend billions on elaborate snow-making equipment and dazzling opening ceremonies, but you can’t ensure a sufficient supply of…latex? Are we seriously prioritizing synchronized ice dancing over preventing unplanned parenthood? I picture a frantic conference call: We have medals! We have flags! We…we seem to be short approximately 150,000 barriers to potential future Olympian offspring.
The promise of a “renewed supply” feels less like a resolution and more like damage control after the inevitable social media backlash. Its a testament to planning that rivals a toddler’s attempt at building a skyscraper out of marshmallows. One can only imagine what other essential services are operating on a hope for the best basis.
I guess we should all be grateful for this belated gesture, but frankly, I expect better from an event costing so much and attracting such global attention. Happy Valentine’s Day! May your love life—and the organizers planning—be far more reliable than what transpired at these games.
