Seriously? A 150-Year-Old Bottle of Booze?!
Okay, folks, brace yourselves. Apparently, someone in Utah dug up a bottle of alcohol thats older than my great-great-grandmother (and she was ancient). A 150-year-old bottle! And what did we do? We had “experts” taste it. Because, naturally, the most pressing concern facing humanity is determining whether fermented grapes and grains from a time when people traveled by horse and carriage still taste… palatable.
I mean, really? Was there not a more vital use for this archaeological find? Like, I don’t know, studying the bottle itself? Examining its construction, its origins, how it ended up buried in the desert?! Nope. Lets focus on whether or not it burns going down. Apparently, it tastes “earthy” and has “notes of dried fruit.” Earthy! Like dirt! That’s the selling point now? I bet if they’d just left it alone, it would have told us far more about the past than a bunch of somber-faced individuals swirling it in their mouths.
Honestly, the whole thing feels like peak performative historical reverence. A ridiculous, self-important celebration of…old booze. Meanwhile, actual pressing issues – climate change, income inequality, the sheer absurdity of reality television – are being ignored. But hey, at least we know what 150-year-old whiskey tastes like. Revolutionary stuff. Just fantastic.
