Feathered Fiends and Postal Peril: Wisconsins Turkey Takeover
Seriously? Wild turkeys? Terrorizing a neighborhood? Is this some bizarre sitcom plot I accidentally wandered into? Apparently not. Because apparently, in southern Wisconsin, we’re now living under the tyrannical rule of glorified chickens with attitude problems.
I mean, okay, wildlife is lovely. Deer are graceful (until theyre demolishing your prize-winning petunias). Squirrels are…quirky. But turkeys? These aren’t charming woodland creatures; these are feathered bulldozers of belligerence! They strut around like they own the place, gobbling insults at anyone who dares to look their way. And apparently, postal workers are public enemy number one.
So now we have a situation where delivery drivers are legitimately fearing for their safety? Because of turkeys?! I picture them huddled in the breakroom, swapping harrowing tales of beak-to-face encounters. It’s ridiculous!
And whats the solution, I wonder? Are we going to negotiate a peace treaty with these feathered thugs? Issue tiny turkey restraining orders? Maybe just start delivering mail via drone – at least that wouldnt trigger an avian assault. Honestly, you can’t make this stuff up. Its perfectly absurd.
