Seriously? Another Bear Under a House?!
You know, I’m just sitting here, sipping my lukewarm tea, trying to appreciate the delicate beauty of California sunsets, and what do I hear? Another bear. Another bear. Apparently, the drama surrounding the evicted ursine resident from that one house – you remember, the months-long saga of drywall destruction and terrified homeowners – hasn’t deterred its brethren.
Its just brilliant, isn’t it? We spend millions on earthquake preparedness, wildfires drills, and avocado toast, yet we can’t seem to figure out how to keep a large, hungry mammal from setting up residence under someones living room! I mean, honestly, where does the logic end? Are these bears actively seeking out prime real estate with good foundations? Are they forming subterranean committees for optimal house selection?
And I’m sure the residents of this new victimized home are absolutely thrilled. Just picturing them: sleepless nights, constant rattling, wondering if its just the wind or a four-hundred pound predator preparing to burst through their floorboards. It’s charming! Its picturesque! Its completely infuriating.
I fully expect next week’s headline to announce a bear has taken up residence in City Hall. Because clearly, weve lost control of the situation. Were just providing free lodging for increasingly bold wildlife now. Wonderful.
