Seriously? A Monkey in a Garage?!
Right, because 2024 wasn’t already chaotic enough. Now we have monkeys staging invasions of suburban garages. Missouri! Really? Is there nothing sacred anymore? I mean, I understand wildlife exists, but the sheer audacity of this primate just strolling into someones garage like it owns the place is simply astounding.
Apparently, this little escape artist decided a homeowner’s collection of power tools looked more appealing than its actual habitat. Probably thought it could swing from the extension cords or something. I bet it was judging our organizational skills too. Look at these neatly arranged rakes! it probably chattered to its monkey friends. “So terribly human.”
And naturally, everyones just charmed by this whole situation. “Aww, isn’t he cute?” Cute? It’s disrupting lives! What if the homeowner had a snake? Or, I don’t know, valuable antique furniture?! Do we get hazard pay for living in a state where wild animals feel free to waltz into our homes uninvited?
Im sure animal control is out there diligently trying to recapture the monkey. While they do that, Ill be reinforcing my garage door with steel and possibly investing in motion-activated banana cannons. Just saying. Someone needs to establish some boundaries here.
