Seriously? Turkeys and Strangers Now?
Are we really at a point where people are fleeing feathered assailants by leaping into the vehicles of complete strangers? I mean, honestly! It’s not like turkeys are apex predators here – theyre glorified dust-bathing chickens with an attitude problem. But apparently, somewhere in Canada, someone had a turkey incident so traumatic that their only recourse was to become an extra in a poorly planned kidnapping scenario.
And the stranger? A hero? A potential accomplice in avian harassment? Who knows! I’m just picturing this scene: panicked flapping, a man shrieking, and some bewildered bystander offering refuge in their hatchback. Its peak absurdity. Did nobody think to run? Or perhaps throw something? A well-aimed pine cone could have easily deterred the aggressive poultry.
This entire situation is just… emblematic of everything that’s wrong with modern life. People are so terrified, so detached from basic problem-solving skills, theyll trust a random person in a car to save them from a flock of grumpy turkeys! I long for the days when a territorial bird was dealt with by a stern look and perhaps a strategically placed garden gnome. Now? We need news reports about near-turkey abductions. Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic.
