A Toucan in Vegas? Seriously?!
Okay, let’s just take a moment here and collectively sigh. Apparently, Las Vegas – a city already overflowing with questionable life choices and neon excess – now has a toucan running amok. A toucan. As if the pigeons werent enough of a feathered nuisance, were now dealing with a tropical bird clearly suffering from an existential crisis and a severe lack of good judgment.
And who is bravely stepping up to handle this monumental task? An animal rescue group, naturally. Because apparently catching a creature that can fly, possesses a brightly colored beak designed for plucking fruit, and likely has no desire whatsoever to be captured is a reasonable use of resources in a city facing… well, let’s not even go there.
Months! This flamboyant escape artist has been flitting around Las Vegas for months. Months! Has nobody thought to just… I dont know… offer it a mango? Build a giant, tropical-themed net? Maybe lure it with Elvis impersonators? Anything would be preferable to the inevitable chaos of chasing a bird through traffic and hoping it doesn’t decide to decorate someone’s hair with berries.
Honestly, at this point, I’m half expecting a flamingo to show up next week. Its just perfectly on brand for this city.
