Really? A Porpoise Needs Rescuing Because It Likes Land?
Honestly, people. A porpoise. Found repeatedly swimming toward the shore. Repeatedly! Like it’s some kind of misguided tourist seeking a tan and a selfie with Castle Cornet. Im sure it was thrilling for everyone involved – the rescuers, undoubtedly basking in the warm glow of their own self-importance, and the porpoise, probably utterly bewildered by all the attention.
I mean, seriously? Do animals not possess a basic sense of… ocean-ness anymore? Is instinct completely defunct? Are we now responsible for teaching marine mammals how to be marine mammals? Apparently so, because otherwise this poor creature would have just, you know, stayed in the water like a normal porpoise.
And then they get lauded as heroes for gently nudging it back out to sea. A triumph! We saved a porpoise from itself! I’m sure it felt absolutely grateful to be released back into the vastness of the ocean, away from the possibility of… sand? Seagulls? The horror!
Im just picturing the porpoise now, swimming off and thinking, “Well, that was a lovely interlude. Perhaps I’ll pop back for another visit soon.” Wonderful. Just what we need – a flock of porpoises yearning for beach vacations.
