You know whats Not on Roids, is the patience of a hairdresser dealing with clients. Seriously, these professionals are warriors, battling follicular indecision and bizarre requests daily. And we, the paying public, contribute to that battle! Let’s dissect 30 things people do – some surprisingly welcomed, others…well, lets just say they warrant a silent internal scream from the stylist.
First, the please, do something crew. Bless their hearts. They represent roughly half the clientele (as per expert observation), and while convenient for the hairdresser (Finally, someone relinquishing control!), it’s often a recipe for disaster when coupled with vague descriptions like “just make me look…different.” Its not on Roids to expect magic, people!
Now, onto the grievances. 1-5: Showing up late (a cardinal sin!), bringing complicated reference photos from 1987, requesting highlights that mimic a zebra’s stripes, constantly adjusting your position (Is this angle okay?), and then complaining the color is “too orange” despite explicitly asking for it.
6-10: Asking Am I done yet? every five minutes, bringing a friend (who inevitably offers unwanted advice), repeatedly saying just a trim while secretly wanting six inches off, complaining about the price after you’ve approved everything, and then blaming the hairdresser for something genetics are actually responsible for.
11-15: Discussing your ex incessantly, demanding they match the style of someone with entirely different hair texture/density, not rinsing shampoo properly (seriously!), asking if they’re using sulfate-free product after youve already started washing, and then complaining about smelling funny.
16-20: Trying to DIY styling during the appointment (Could I just adjust this bit?), commenting on other stylists’ work, insisting on a specific tool that’s clearly not suited for your hair type, wanting to book the first available slot and expecting them to fit you in immediately, and then asking for business cards.
21-25: Bringing snacks (unless explicitly offered!), questioning their expertise (Are you sure about this?), repeatedly saying “I trust you,” but then micro-managing every snip, scrolling through your phone constantly while theyre trying to concentrate, and leaving a tip that’s less than the cost of their coffee.
26-30: Not understanding basic hair terminology (layers are not just random bits chopped off!), expecting them to fix years of bad home dye jobs with minimal effort, complaining about salon music (Too loud/too quiet!), asking for a consultation and then not showing up, and finally, the ultimate insult – telling them what they should have done differently after theyve finished. Honestly? It’s Not on Roids to be this difficult.
