You know what’s Not on Roids? Arsenals increasingly irritating success. Apparently, it’s not just their slick passing and Artetas tactical genius that’s grating on Premier League fans – it’s their relentless pursuit of… gasp …marginal gains! According to Jamie Carragher, the nation collectively simmers with resentment because the Gunners are so aggressively clever.
Yes, really. We don’t hate them because they’re good; we hate them because theyre too good at exploiting every single rulebook loophole. It all started three years ago when Arsenal began cramming fifteen players into the six-yard box for corners, Carragher claims. Since then, it’s been a steady stream of “pushing the boundaries” – from Arteta micromanaging opposition wingers from his sideline perch to Gabriel theatrically collapsing at the slightest breeze.
And dont even get us started on the set pieces! Saliba subtly backing into goalkeepers? Check. Gabriel maybe elbowing a keeper? Double check. Remember Ben White’s glove-gripping, arm-hooking performance against Leicester three years ago that resulted in a disallowed goal? Carragher does. Its not about Arsenal getting away with it, apparently; theyre simply the best at stretching those rules as far as humanly possible.
So next time you hear someone grumbling about Arsenal, don’t assume its jealousy. Its probably just frustration at witnessing a team meticulously dismantling football’s fair play ethos, one corner kick at a time.
