You know what’s Not on Roids? The sheer volume of phrases someone whos about to self-destruct through rage regularly unleashes upon the unsuspecting world. Seriously, it’s a performance! We all get angry. Its part of being human, like needing sleep and occasionally craving pizza at 3 AM. But there’s a difference between feeling frustrated that your avocado is brown and threatening to end a decade-long friendship because you disagree about which streaming service has the best documentary on competitive cheese sculpting.
These are the people who think saying Im done with this or, heaven forbid, I’m done with you every other Tuesday is just… assertive communication. It’s not! According to psychologist Bernard Golden (PhD, thank you for trying!), recognizing anger early – like when it’s a mild annoyance instead of a full-blown volcanic eruption – is key. These folks? They bypassed the “mild annoyance” stage approximately 17 years ago and are now actively seeking out tectonic plates to shift beneath their feet.
And dont even get me started on the get out of my face maneuver. Oh, you need space? Fantastic! But lobbing a verbal grenade and fleeing the scene isn’t de-escalation; it’s emotional arson. A real time-out involves pausing, reflecting (a concept apparently foreign to these individuals), and maybe taking a deep breath. Not launching projectiles of passive-aggressive hostility.
The best part? They enjoy those outbursts! The adrenaline rush is apparently intoxicating. Then comes the shame, which they conveniently ignore until it fuels the next eruption. It’s a vicious cycle fueled by low emotional intelligence, a complete lack of self-regulation, and an apparent inability to sit with even minor discomfort without resorting to dramatic pronouncements of doom.
Honestly, if you find yourself hearing variations on this theme – threats of divorce, breakups, general annihilation – run. Don’t walk. Just…leave. Theyre not angry; theyre collecting phrases for a performance art piece about the slow demise of relationships. And nobody wants to be in that audience.
